ok, new blog, yay!
------ok, so the horror that is my myspace blog.......>>>>>
Sunday, January 01, 2006
 | did i just? try 2 fuck around with my "straight" roommate in our outdoor shower? no really? did i? i was trying to be mature. i was trying to being comforting. i was trying to be tender, like in the dyke book i'm reading. wtf? even after i told him, i'm not trying 2 sex u, i just wanna hold u, he still wouldn't take off his pants, and that was ok, but after about 10 minutes i guess he had had enough and sobered up enough to stumble away. oh, it was so hot, and i was so not hard, i would have been if he had kissed me, regardless of how coked out i was, oh well. the hot water felt sooo good, as it always does late at night. i chased him down to his room, i apologized, i tried but failed to be so pathetic as to offer him anything as to coerce him to rejoin me, it's ok, it's better that i didn't, he was foolish to run away, he was foolish to entice me in the first place, something he may never be able to deal with. |
awake Saturday, December 31, 2005
| KIDS BE STOOP! well here we go, now i'm really fucking pissed. some retarded lil' faggot from simi valley named roland just randomly chose to send me a message - and what did he have to say? why that i would be so much hotter if i cut my hair. to TRUST him. and that i would not be single then. |
bitchy Wednesday, December 28, 2005
| gorgeous kiss me on the dancefloor. |
happy >>>DON'T READ THIS ONE!! - i'm serious
Monday, December 26, 2005
| i may be a bastard, but... i would never do to my boyfriend what mine just did to me! fucking motherfucker. oh don't u dare blog about this, oh you hurt me sooo much! well these are my fucking feelings and i have a right to fucking express them! fucking psychotic drunken bullshit! i try so hard to look out for you, to take care of you, and you get fucking trashed, after a nice night, i take u out, we hang out with good friends, old and new, score some fucking xmas dinner, we go out to a fucking club, u get trashed, they ask u to leave. not a big deal. how it comes to a fucking fight with the bouncer? how it comes to me being such an asshole cuz i tried to break up with u? u run off in the rain. yr still not home. u leave me here to sit and worry and care, and in the morning, if u even make it that far, u won't remember. u will be so sorry, just like every time. but u will be mad, because i have a big mouth. yes i do. it is a fault. but i still have the right to express myself, to document my feelings. and i also have right to not have to put up with psychotic drunken bullshit alterego antics. i'm not coming to pick u up from jail. |
angry Sunday, December 25, 2005
| fuck jeffree star poser. like, yeah, so like i just read disco bloodbath / party monster by james st james. this kid wishes he was that scene. like whatever. if the music could back it up, then maybe there'd be something to it, but gawd damn, such mediocrity, boring. peaches did it better. so did lil' kim. the world does not need a fake tranny eminem. lameness, like so courtney love, he needs someone to ghost write his record. |
apathetic Wednesday, December 21, 2005
| fuck myspace i just spent an hour writing a fucking blog, and it didn't post and now it's gone! fuck u tom and yr shitty site! u sell out cunt! |
blank Monday, December 19, 2005
| HATEFUL childe ohmygod, i'm at work right now, big band night, seems like the audience is really into it, oh so exciting! i drank way too much this weekend, tho steadily throughout the course and avoiding a hangover along the way, tho this morning i woke up with a fucking sore throat cuz someone in my house turned off the god damn heater making my room a freezing nether world of filth and soiled clothing. tommi's brother and sister were in town for the weekend. generally, whenever tommi's twin sister comes to visit, inexplicably i do something really retarded that results in a big fight between tommi and i making myself look like a total ass. so all week long, i was ok, i ain't gonna do nothing stupid to piss tommi off, ok, no problem! well fucking hell, as if i had any respectability of strength of character to begin with, after going on saturday night to a pretty awesome dragshow at harvey's (shout out to the dino-saurus!) me and tony and et all made our way into the sadlands, where who did i encounter? oh the little nicaraguan guy i fucked around with last weekend! now i will admit, the dude had called me earlier in the day while i was still at work, and was all up like yay happy oh i so wanna see you, and i was like, yeah, maybe i'll call you, yeah, maybe...right. and i was like no, i ain't gonna call him. and i will cop to the fact that i did in fact call him and leave a drunken voice message before entering into badlands where indeed i did find him and such. so basically i was drunk and horny, and pretty damn pathetic. tony and i even had a packt to look out for each other. well i won't go into his regrettful sinning, cuz hell, it didn't happen on my couch this time, haha. but i inexplicably was talked into talking this dude into taking me home with him, next thing i know i'm in a cab headed towards the mission, and i'm thinking, well at least i'm gonna get laid, right? we get to his house, and jesus fucking christ, he starts showing me pictures of his ex-boyfriends, and then his mother, and is telling me that he told his sister about me, and she thinks i'm a bad person or something, and i'm like, well i am evil, duh, whatever. and basically i'm like, oh hell, like lets do this. well i'm gonna abstain from going into intimate details and such and save such salaciousness for my forth-coming sexual memiors, but i will say that all that did transpire was very dissappointing and unnecessary for me to re-experience and still live a fulfilled life. or shorter version: same bullshit, different night, oh fuck, why am i here? but no, i couldn't, he wanted to cuddle, and i so wanted to escape, but it was raining like all fuck all, and tho i do have a history of making long cross town walks home in the rain at three in the morning, i wasn't feeling fully up to it that night. so i somehow fall asleep, hoping i can somehow make an escape later on while the guy is passed out. i wake up at 9am-ish, i ponder my escape for about ten minute, the guy doesn't seem fully asleep, he still is cuddling me, how do i do this. i slither out of the bed, quietly putting on my clothes, for it'd be much harder to stop my departure if i'm already dressed. he comes to and awakens as i'm putting on my boots, and i utter those timeless words: I NEED TO GO HOME. thankfully he puts up no fight and say ok, i give him a pec of a kiss, cuz i may be evil, but i can be quite a sweetheart for a souless demon fag. and how lucky i am, i make my escape. and it's not raining! it takes me 45 minutes to walk home at my leisurely pace. too leisurely, as it starts raining again as i hit the castro, still two blocks from home. thankfully i'm in my house and clensed the filth of my mistakes away (via our trusty shower!) as the thunder and lightning begin. i take a nap, and then i go out to get pancakes for breakfast with tony and he tells me why he's such a whore also. but no, fun did not end there. we go out the cafe later sunday night to catch some happy hour drinks, and we chillin' and shit, and then suddenly, on the dancefloor, there he is! aaaghhh! i was already proud of myself of having deleted his number from my cell phone earlier in the day, but oh no! he has seen me. i make like i haven't seen him and i rush away, whisking tony with as i plainly state in words of undeniable confidence, we need to get out of here, now! but i still have half a drink, so i down the fucker, and zip the fuck out of the god damn club. and tony is like, yr an ass, and i'm like, i know, i don't care! and he's like, well he saw you, and you should have talked to him. and i was like, i will. next time. not now. fuck no, not now. i'll tell him we just gonna be friends, that i'm not looking for a relationship or any of that shit. we won't really be friends. no. i told i had a boyfriend, i mean i may not for much longer, i seem to sabotaged my relationship irrepairably. that makes me sad. tommi's sister and friend advised that it'd be easier to go through with the eventual breakup if we stopped having sex now. tommi even referred to us splitting up in discussion with me. kind of a bummer. wish i knew what the fuck i wanted, haha! i do know it ain't some 45 year old nicaraguan who says all the things i've already heard before and can not deal with anymore. anyway, i ended up at club 8 later that night with mikey, daniel, and christian, and it was an interesting adventure. we were the first ones there, and it wasn't even open yet, so we drank vodka in the car, and by the time it opened, it was dead for an hour, yet we resolved to stay, and drank dollar budweiser energy drinks, some nasty shit called BE that would have been intolerable were we not drunk already. finally people show up from the FRESH party after midnight (as this was an after party for FRESH, some $20 bullshit). but the people that come, fuck it's the god damn shirtless muscle tweaker druggy fag crowd. ain't nobody talking to us, well except daniel, cuz he's one pretty lil' whore, and he said he used to run with this crowd. i dunno, the longer i was there, the more hateful i became, yet, as mikey wanted to bail earlier, the three of us insisted on staying, and as we gave up on the night once people arrived and were lame (tho lovely to look at), mikey insisted that we stay as he was ever so intent on finding someone to hookup with and as he put it, suck his dick. said protagonist never did make himself available, and sometime after 2am it was finally agreed that we just get the fuck out of there. it all went by pretty fast for my drunk ass, tho i did tire of dancing after awhile, but hey, it's good exercise, had to burn off those fucking pancakes! |
crappy Friday, December 16, 2005
| i am the one holding myself back so i�ve been doing some thinking. lately i�ve been thinking that my drummer�s lack of interest in our mutual music thing has been holding me back. like i�ll get songs made, and then sit on them for six months or more until there�s time for us to record proper drum tracks, and that this is really holding me back musically. and it is. but really, is it my drummer�s fault if i�ve come to the point of only producing six measly songs a year? i mean, i used to be so prolific, sure maybe it was all crap, but fucking hell, what�s been wrong with me? all yeah, that writers block thing. what a bunch of bullshit. i have learnt that writers block is bullshit. i mean it�s real, but for me at least, it was a product of ego-vanity and over-thinking. what the fuck is my problem? so it�s not fair to say that my drummer is holding me back, cuz that�s passing the buck. i�m the one holding myself back. not writing songs, sitting on shit, (sure, something need to gestate), but not having confidence in myself, not being pro-active, not playing shows, not making any effort to create for weeks at times, maybe not pushing my drummer hard enough or inspiring the kid to wanna participate in my goddamn art. it�s fucking retarded. but i�m the one holding myself back, and not from some kind of idea success, cuz whatever. but i could be playing shows, seems like some of the queer kids like what i do, i could be getting better at performing, working harder, instead of working (hard?) 60hrs a week at my fucking dumb jobs. it�s so lame. i have to make some movement at this point. this is so teenage, and not thought out. oh well. i have to find a way to do stuff and connect it with whomever wants it, be it only me, whatever, and if my drummer wants to get off the bus, then that�s ok too, i should�ve learnt to play the damn things years ago anywayz. as for now, i�m gonna go get drunk and dance at some clubs, hope i see some of my few friends out and about... |
cold Monday, December 12, 2005
| on trying to find trouble and make new friends ohmygod, like last night this huge bug bite or zit or some shit just fucking appeared on my face about an inch about my upper lip and to the right of my nose. it doesn't really itch, but it's kind of aching or some shit. i dunno what is was, it's not a mosquito bite, and i hope it's not some nasty spider thing like when i had to go the hospital a couple years ago and have my pinkie finger sliced open and drained - that thing itched like a motherfucker! anyway, i've been trying to make new friends, and be a total whore, neither particularly successfully. like i started talking to some kids online on this site and others and shit, and man, fucking hell, kids act like immature little dipshits, or it's like, so what are u into, let's fuck. like sure there's some ambiguity when one fag talks to another, and it's like, what are you looking for? friendship or a fuck? and it's like, i don't fucking know, but i'm curious to find out, too bad u don't look a damn thing like yr picture tho. i guess people online never do, except me, that is, although i will cop to the fact that my scandalous photos were taken right after i worked out and went running, haha. anyways, i was talking to this one kid, and like he was the one who flaked on my cuz he supposedly got so stoned he passed out, yeah right, ok. anyway, he spends the whole week text messaging me, and i'm like everytime, i'm gonna go do this, u wanna come out too, i'm meeting some friends, come join us. totally casual and polite. well saturday night at 3am he text messages me and is like how was yr night, and i'm drunk, horny, having failed to find someone to talk and dance with me at silly bars, and faring no better online to seek out trouble, so i'm like, i'm calling this bitch, fuck this text message crap. so i call him, and he's like, oh i feel a connection, like come over, but we're just gonna cuddle, and i'm like, that's cool, that's fine, i'm totally into that, cuz i don't handle anonymous sex very well, all the pressure and such. so i go over to his house, apparently sober enough to drive...anyways, i get there, he comes out and opens up the door, and well, he was kinda cute in his pics, funny how he don't look much the same in person, a lil' heavier and such. anyways, i'm cool, i'm going in cuz, like i gotta fuckin pee pretty bad at this point. so i go, and like there's another kid there, his cousin he says, and i'm like that's cool. they're both obviously pretty drunk, and i'm like peeing away and they're out there whispering and laughing. anyway, i emerge, and i've already decided i ain't gonna sex this kid, cuz i don't fuck fatties, haha, but it's like the energy is like, un-uh, but i'm like, lets see where this goes, the cousin is kind of a cutie. anyway this kid says he knows mikey, but like mikey still has no idea who this faggot is, he probably came over drunk one night and fucked him or something, haha. anyways, i'm there less than five minutes, and the kid says to me, yr such a teenager, and i'm like, well i'm really 19. and he's like what? and i'm like, well my id says i'm 27, but i'm really 19. (that's my joke, funny, huh?) and he just straight up says, eriq go home. and i'm like excuse me? and he's like, go home eriq, go home. and being right by the door i reach for it and i speakith, dude, yr fucking weird, and i make my escape, cuz i wasn't gonna cuddle with a fatty either. so i'm driving back and i'm like, i must have the last word, so i text the bitch, "wow, that was so lame, no wonder you play games all week, at least yr cousin was cute tho." he texts me back the next morning with - i'm so sorry!! well whatever, dude, fuck you Kelan. you don't look like yr picture. so i was talking to this other kid via adam4adam who had first said hi to me on downelink, and he seemed kinda cute and interesting, and it seemed like we had some common interests like music, so i'm like, cool, maybe a new friend. i ain't completely written this one off, but dude hella insulted me. like we be chatting saturday and stuff, and basically he signs off that he'd maybe'd be down to get a drink sunday, a final message which i got way later, at like 3am (either before or after i went over to the carriloza's house - it's all a bit hazy). so i write him back and i'm like, ok, cool, call me tomorrow or something. so now it's sunday afternoon, and i see he's online adam4adam again, so i drop him a note saying hey how's it going. and he writes me back, oh blah blah, this that, "you know, you should start looking for a guy for tonight now so that you don't have to look at 3am." and i'm like, whaaaa? so i write him back, like what do you mean, aka, what the FUCK do you mean? and he's like, i mean what i said, and i'm like, oh is that yr strategy, and like i forget what after that, but i don't even respond. ok, sure, yeah i'm on adam4adam cuz yeah, i'm curious about the sexual possibilities, but don't fucking assume that i'm a total slut fucking a different random guy every fucking night (not that there's anything wrong with - some of my best friends are total sluts, and sometimes i do wish i could be more like them), especially when yr on this god damn site EVERY time i come on already. sure yr profile says u ain't looking for sex, but come on, then why u bother even posting shirtless pics? totally stoop. this kid seemed nice, but i reckon he's probably more of a mindfucker shut-in. whatever. so i went out looking for trouble on sunday night, and i guess i did find it, haha, without the approval of my friends. but i guess it really aint that hard to get with me, i just need a lil bit of attention and u need to be cute. never thought i'd fuck around with a 45 yr old, tho, haha, tho my age limit still stands. but i really shouldn't have dragged this guy home with me, i mean, he looked hella fucking good for 45, i mean, he looked early 30s, tops. andrei, my room mate will even vouch for this, as he encountered the dude naked on our couch at 7:30am this morning, haha. as to why i shouldn't have dragged the dude home, well he kept saying that he was too old for me, and yeah, he was, and like we're screwing around, and like yeah, he was drunk and on drugs from the night before or some shit, but he was giving me the i love you crap, and the oh yr my boyfriend now shit, and i was like, uhhh, no. maybe that's just par for the course with latin guys tho, i dunno. anyway, i should state now, that no fucking was involved, very little sexual stuff actually at all, and no splooge, well mostly. just some bad kissing and cuddling type dry humpage for the most part. pretty much by morning time i was having some "u need to get the hell out of my house right about now" thoughts, but i had obligated myself to driving him home, which was of course no big deal. anyway, he kept giving me the puppy dog look, and i feel kinda bad, cuz it seemed like he really liked me, and he was like call me, and i'm ok sure, but i don't plan on it. funniest thing was how he kept going off about how big his dick was and how damaging it would be, and like, he wasn't little, but he wasn't much more than average. hell, he even busted the thing out in sadlands, and he was going off about how he was only a top, cuz he was latin, but from the moment i met him when he came up to me on the dance floor and was all pressing his booty up on me, i swear, he was screaming bottom. AND, he gave me this line about how he doesn't ever give head, but i was just so damn hot, he was making an excpetion. i dunno, weird stuff like that kinda tripped me out after the fact, fuck that bullshit machismo front shit. anyways, yes, i am a bastard, and despite dissapproving looks from my friends, i could have done a lot worse. of course i could have just saved myself the trouble and just beat off and stayed home and watched cartoons and movies. |
complacent Saturday, December 10, 2005
| on !!! so like wednesday night me and tommi went to go see !!! at mezzanine. it was cool, tho, i think i fucked up my ears a bit, my left one was all off feeling for the past couple of days, not so bad now, tho it still aches a little bit. i know, not good. really not good. i really need to start bring earplugs with me even tho i hate how they feel in my ears and shit. anyway, von iva were alright - they ain't that original, but they gots a hot shit disco drummer. tussle i was really into seeing, as i had only heard of them and that they were a dub band. so i got all up front and center, right up at the foot of the stage. i liked them the best of the night, but they weren't really dub, more krautrock funk. they reminded me a lot of meat beat manifesto, tho, one of my all time favorites. plus the bass player was pretty cute for a white boy, and the drummer, damn that kick was loud! so finally !!! come on, and really i have to say - you know how a lot bands are better live than they are on record, well with these kids it's the opposite. Louden Up Now was like my favorite record of 2004, and like even tho it ain't perfect, i like listened to it over and over, at night to sleep, blasted it in my car, i still bust it out a lot. but their first record, ehh, not so much. and that's how they was live. i mean really, if these kids was black and serious, they'd be deadly, but really they just drunk white boys making fun of the funk, and they happened to find the right guy to engineer and produce them into something transcendent. live, all i heard were noisey ass guitars, which i like a lot, but the bass was weak, and the drums, you could sorta feel, but you couldn't hear. and while the drums and percussion were metronomic and perfunctory, they didn't propel the music musculary the way tussle or von iva did, or even the way other great kraut and dance inspired acts i've seen lately have, like boredoms, buffalo daughter, and the gossip (who's new drummer really ups their sound with a whole level of confidence and excitement their old one lacked). the show was fun tho, and i was dancing all stoop, cuz hell, i couldn't have looked anywhere as silly as the singer with his red shirt pudge belly drunken frat boy ballerina dance. they played new songs too, some of them seemed pretty cool, tho i was hollering at the end for them to do their Nate Dogg cover. after the show i went to go buy some tussle cds, but they were both $12 and i only had like $22, so i was like gimme the new one. oh and the kid selling 'em was the cute bass player, so i'm like, hey there... so i give him my twenty, and then he's like, oh do you and two ones, and i'm like oh ok, he wants to give me ten bucks change, sure yeah, here. but then he gives me back eight. and i'm like, he i gave u 22 and u just gave me 8, and he's like no u gave me 20, and i'm like, no i gave u 22, and he's like no u didn't, and i'm yes i did, u asked me if i had two more dollars. and he's like...oh, right ok, all kinda irritated and whatnot, so he gives me back the two bucks, instead of thinking and giving me a ten or some shit. and so he's like giving me attitude, like, oh sorry, and i'm like, "it's cool - yr still cute." and i fucking walk the fuck away. suck on that straight boy, learn yr damn math! haha. so like i get home put on the cd, hell i don't even really wanna hear it at this point, but anyways, listening to it, he big fat live bass sure does sound thin as hell on record. maybe i wasn't listening to it loud enough, or my ears were too fucked up, but i was like, hmmm, these guys was better live, yeah. |
calm Monday, December 05, 2005
| food poisoning or stomach flu? so yesterday was interesting...mostly fun, i guess. upon completing laundry and not working out sufficently, becuz i am a lazy twat, i made plans to see an afternoon rock show by someone i've met on this here site, and conduct a search for the elusive black wife beater t-shirt holy grail. well i got down to the site of the show, and alas, heard little rocking out, and being the shy lil' bitch that i am, was reluctant to enter. so i go and get a shitty burrito thingy from trader joes, which i proceeded to consume cold regardless of the multitude of heating instructions helpfully included upon said wrapper. it was alright, as i mentioned, kinda shitty. so i make my way back over to the site of the show, and still, no music rocking or nothing. and very little people. so i'm like, fuck this shit, i'm a gonna call this cute boy i met on downelink who maybe wants to be friends. so i talk 2 the kid, and he's eatin' or some shit, so i make my way over to market street to find me some fuckin' black wife beaters, cuz i just can't be wearing white everyday! so i'm going in and out of all this stores, i guess they be marketed to straight people or some shit, it'z weird, all kinds of faux sports wear gear and strange designz meant for "da club", which would be some shit whole these bitches wear out regularly to their breeding grounds of north beach and such. whatevers. so i find me some wifebeaters, but fucking hell they're expensive! like whazzup with $5 a shirt? fuckin' lame! so i look around some more but finally give in and buy a couple of packs so that the mission is not a total loss. at around this point, this kid calls me back, and i'm like, so lets hang out, and he's like ok, and so i'm cool, and he's like i'm hi as fuck but this where i live, so i'm like, ok i'll walk on over. well by the time i get there i guess (correctly - maybe!) that he's passed the fuck out, cuz now he ain't answering his phone. so i'm like, fuckin' a, this is a bit lame, but par for the course, as boys ALWAYS do this to me, whether it be perceived friendship or some kinda hook-up. so i'm like fuck it, i'll go over to DECO, (formerly jezabel's joint) and have a drink or two. turns out it's their grand opening party weekend, even though they been re-opened now for a couple months. anyway, they got live music coming from inside, and i'm ok, this could be entertaining, so i gets me my customary vodka/pineapple and sits me down for the show. it's this older dude named Houston Allred doing showtunes and telling stories, and he comes off as a life long performer and unknown legend. plus it's all pretty funny and entertaining. so i'm kickin' it, turns out the other 5 or 6 people are all regulars that go see him play all the time at martuni's on friday nights and such, and basically when i'm ready to go after two drinks, they just won't let me, insisting on buying me another drink, that i listen to their friend sing and duet with him, and generally hang. which was cool, but man, that 3rd drink...they was like, what's yr rush, have another drink, and i'm like, i'm trying to pace myself, but ok, why not! anyways, i finally make my escape, graciously thanking all present with promises of attending a future performance with friends. so i make my way back to the house to meet up with tommi so that we can go to Lisa Silva's birthday party at club deluxe. lisa is this brazilian singer that performs every wednesday at my work, she's pretty cool, really nice, the show has gotten really old for me, but i was like, sure i'll come to your party, especially since i spaced on yr last one! so i'm back at the house, and tommi has acquire some tuna melts from ganked from work, and i'm like score - grub! and swallow them down, along with a big glass of decaf chai tea, and we have like an hour to kill, we watch the masters of horror episode with the zombie dissident soldiers, which was ok, but kinda cheezy and silly. i like the characateurs of the real life assholes like ann coulter and karl rove, tho i will admit that they could have also made the ann coulter character more manly so as to further the realism. well as soon as the thing is over, suddenly my belly don't feel so good. like, fuck, am i a gonna puke? like what the fuck? i never puke! like holy shit, have i given my self an eating disorder? haha. so like i dunno if it was combo of the vodka tuna and chai or something else, but at this point i feel pretty shitty. so tommi's like, just go ahead and puke if you need to, you'll feel better. so i try and will myself into pukage, but only lil' bits come up, and i'm like fuck, we gotta go to this lisa party thing, but ugh, i feel like shit. so finally after much delay we go, and by the time we get there, i feel really faint again, like i'm gonna hurl for real, but i'm like we gotta go in and say hi and all that shit. so we go in, see a bunch of musicians that i know from my work, see lisa, i meet her son, who would have been cute if he didn't act like a straight lil' douchebag. and after chillin' for 20mins, i'm like tommi, we gotta go, NOW, and tommi's like, what now? and i'm like yes, NOW. and tommi's like wha? and i'm come on we're going. anywayz, we get back to the house, and up comes the whole enchilada, finally, and i'm just like, ok, pukage, over and done with. ohmygod, i feel so mary kate! but i don't feel much better afterwards, and now it's morning, and so far i'm holding down a bowl of cereal, but i still feel quite a bit queasy. so that leaves us at the current question with regard to my predicament - food poisoning or stomach flu? i'm sure i'm bound to find out within a few hours...if u know what i mean! ugh. |
sick Sunday, December 04, 2005
| aeon sux so me and tommi went and saw the aeon flux movie last night, yeah... |
indescribable Friday, December 02, 2005
| on my living situation ohmygod. why did i choose to live somewhere that is a complete recreation of fucking college retardation?!? what the fuck was i thinking? like my house is awesome. i love my house, other than fucking fruit flys, but enough of that. i have a great room, i have an outdoor shower of gay sex, which i have used and installed a red light in - no WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING MOVING in with my quasi-ex-boyfriends retarded stoner alcoholic college middle school buddies? i sweartogod, this shit is so retarded. like these kids alrigh on a temporary occasional basis, but living with, they fucking slobs, they fucking over medicated, and they fucking uncreative. it's goddamn a funk. i need to escape. this is best place i've lived at in the past two or so years being in san francisco, but goddamnit, i'm living with adolescent retards. and i'm sharing a room. again. it'z no good. both me and the old lady knows it. i'm so over this codependent shit. i need my own life at least for a little while.....what the fuck am i to do? |
aggravated Saturday, November 26, 2005
| on posting slutty pics yeah so? i figure i looks pretty good these dayz, so i wants some attention, cuz my ego been hurtin' + neglekted for way 2 long. so i been workin' at tryin 2 look nice, had my special lady bust out the camera, and yeah, thaz it! and in few weeks when i look even betters, i might jus' put up some even raunchier shit if it suits me, ha ha. fuckin' a i wish i had something better 2 do than sit on myspace at 11pm on a saturday night tho, godamn. |
| on disappointment well this will probably be a continuing series...ha ha ha |
Saturday, November 19, 2005
| on posting drunken bulletins and "straight" guys apologies to all who noticed with regards to my 3am bulletins announcing the posting of some new tunes on my band page. i was very worked up from a long night of aggressive sexual energy and drunkeness, though after re-reading what i wrote, they appear less retarded than i feared. after a day of accomplishment, hungover no less, i had a pretty stoop night. basically went out with some friends and friends of friends to a couple bars. one of the kids was a roommate. a straight roommate. from the midwest. with an accent. tony and i arrived at uh, chad's place to meet up with our friend ryan, and found said roommate, oh yeah his name was jim, shirtless in the kitchen getting his hair cut by the other person that lives there, this chick lindsay. anyway, tony had been going off about this guy earlier, about how he was totally hot or something, and how he was into him, and i was like ok, sure, whatever. anyway, i'm not supposed to talk about tony on here anymore, cuz he's still pissed at me for documenting his sexual escapade on my roommates couch, so yeah. anyway, this guy, upon finishing his haircut, remained shirtless for about 20mins just hangin' out with us 3 gay kids, titillating us or some shit, i guess. he was alright with regards to his torso, i mean he's got a bit more work to do. ryan said he looked better earlier that afternoon after returning from running, all sweaty and glistening like. i'm like, yeah, the meat's alright, but really this is just another boring white guy. with a minisota accent. anyway, right off the bat i start picking up "energy", ha ha, i said energy - i mean "i'm diggin' on u" vibes, and i'm like ok, huh this is funny, where's tony, i thought he was gonna make a go for this here fag. see at this point, i thought the guy was gay. i didn't know he was "straight", i mean, he was pretty much screaming fag. especially from the way he was coming on to me with his body language. anyway, i finally get clued in by ryan, and i'm like, well then why is he hitting on me? well we go out to some bars after it is established that we are not going to a straight club with 4 fags, a chick, and a closet case. i mean, the dude spends another 20mins obsessing over what to wear in front of me and ryan, and we're like, is he on something? anyway, at the bar, the guy starts all talking to me all more deep like. i learn that it'd take a gun to his head for him to fuck a guy in the ass. he wanted to know how many people i'd slept with. he wanted to know if i was a "giver" or a "taker", ha ha ha. i had to educate him a bit on categories with regards to personal versimilitude and such. he wanted to know my thoughts on monogamy. he wanted to know what it was like for my parents when i came out, and how long i "had been gay for." i said 27 years. he told me how he really wanted to find chick and fingerbang her, eat her pussy, and cum on her twat. i was so convinced. i told he should cum on her ass. i told him guys are tighter. anyway, at this point i learned that he had a Masters degree in Psychology, and much of his behavior began to make sense. he starts to get a little bit physically agressive with me, cuz he's drunk and he has to act like a bro, or some shit. he tells me that in his eyes i am so obviously the epitome of a gay guy. and i'm like, no, actually u look more the stereotype with yr clean cut looks. oh and he wants to know if i consider myself a weirdo, and what that was like. and by this point i'm like, god damn, i've heard all this shit before, and i am not play this game again with some kid all totally messed up in the head...again. if yr living in this country, in this culture, at this point in time, and you've reached yr late 20s and u still can't come to terms with yr sexuality, i'm sorry, but don't come running to me to be the one to help you with whatever you need and be some kind of sensitive idealized awesomeness. uh uh. i mean, i am pretty fucking awesome, but i've been there, done that, and i never got any good sex out of it. so i bail on the dude, figure, let tony have a shot at him. we go to another bar, and i avoid the dude by playing star trek:TNG pinball with ryan and chad. last call comes and goes, and then we're outside chillin'. the guy is even more drunk, even more on me, and like suddenly this older crowd is like, hey guys come to our party! and our group is like - ok, taxi, lets go, and at that moment i am like, see ya kids, i'm going home - and as i'm runnin' across the street, jim (straight guy) and tony holla after me - wait, come back! oh but it's too late, i'm gone, running away, cuz if there is anything i've learned, when it comes to closeted midwestern white boys, it's always in my best interest to run the fuck away. |
bored Friday, November 18, 2005
| pepsi for christina aguilera + my 5am misadventure so yesterday at dumb job ..1 i got to go by PEPSI for CHRISTINA AGUILERA'S wedding which is tomorrow @ staglin vineyards in napa, which everyone seems to know about already, even tho it was supposed to be a big secret. i went to bevmo and smart + final to buy 3 cases each of pepsi, diet pepsi, and sierra mist, cuz we certainly couldn't send no coke, she would lose her endorsement! it's so dumb, i know. oh well, if i ever were to meet the bitch, i'd have something other to say than the time i almost bought one of her cds for one dollar in the cut-out bin. |
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
| report on the atrocities so i go into work today at taste catering, oh joy. what do i discover in my mailbox? why a nasty note from boss, the dry drunk, that he has told me to so something REPEATEDLY, when in fact he has mentioned it perhaps only once. a very small task, one that does not neccessarily need to be done daily. why, out of all of my work priorities, this shit has been pretty low. but no, i'm gone for one day, and all of a sudden HE needs to find something, and fucking shits a god damn brick just cuz i didn't bring up some paperwork from the warehouse to the office. wtf? so i'm like, paul, is this really that big of deal? i do this every couple of days, but if you want me to do it everyday, then fine, but is it really worth the angry note? and he rattles off some fucking bullshit about how he's told me to do it so many times, and how i'm not doing other things, tho he doesn't say what those are! and i'm like, well if there are duties of my job that i am not doing, then i need to know, cuz it's not intentional, mostly...ha! and i'm like, listen, this task is not something i was in the habit of doing as it's not something i did under rita (my old boss). and he's like, oh, well you need to be doing this everyday, and i'm like ok, whatever, get away from me stinkman. so i avoid him for a bit, i'm fucking tired as shit, didn't get enough sleep, and then it's like all the rest of the day he's like the biggest sweetheart to me, like hey buddy, like wtf, oh ok, he realizes that he REALLY pissed me off and that this is somehow going to atone for his bullshit post-it note. and i'm all day, god damn, drop this fucking pretention and just be real, yr asshole, everyone knows it, ok. and then at the end of the day he like sort of apologizes and i'm ok, well it was a really crummy way to start my day, and he's like well, you know i'm probably gonna have to yell at you in the future, like i hope not, but you know i have to yell sometimes, and i just want you to know thats a possibility. and i'm like ok, this is awkward. and he's like, you know i'm trained by these guys, the event designers, to get what i want, and i'm ok, right, that's BS, and he's like so yeah i might have to yell at you. and i'm, well i might yell back, ha ha, really awkward laugh. anyway, my point is, this is unprofessional bullshit, and i'm not going to tolerate getting yelled by a co-worker at my place of employment, it's fucking unprofessional conduct, and if happens...well, then i'm fucking walking out of shit. |
tired Sunday, November 06, 2005
| the people i work with... are the whiniest bunch of motherfuckers! i work during the day at this stupid catering company. why that's where i am right now! on a sunday! doing jack shit! i'm just here in case anything goes the fuck wrong, which it won't, unless someone in the warehouse is trying to intentionally sabotage and fuck w/ me. i swear, i work with some stoop mofos, and like sure, i can be a bit of an airhead while i'm here, but thaz jus cuz I DON'T give a fuck about what i'm doing. i've been at this stupid job for TWO fucking years, and i sure as hell don't get any respect. ain't got no fucking benefits either. spoilt bitches that have been here less get full benefits and shit. it's fucking stupid. and my boss, all he cares about is making sure you know IT'S YR FAULT IF YOU FUCKED UP, even if u didn't fuck up, and he or the other people are too fucking stoop to fucking catch a god damn little itty bitty mistake. i really hate the sick glee the fat fuck takes in throwing something in other peoples faces, not just mine. like there's accountability, and accountability is good, but to throw stupid shit in people's face and talk down to them with so much god damn condescenion, it's just really makes for a seriously unhealthy work environment. i mean my previous boss here was a total neurotic bitch intent on being a martyr to a job she hated, but this dude, like whatever, he's fucked in the head. but so are a lot of people here. like event designers that don't do shit, hardly ever come in, are white male gay and vote republican (and has a black partner!), all coming up to me, on a fucking sunday and whining about how they have a parcel truck for there stupid event and not the van which they requested, like I fucking know, like it's really my problem, like it's really that big of a fucking deal at all?!? like what the fuck am i supposed to do, magically whisk the parcel truck into a van? the fucking vehicle place is closed sundays, and they probably ran out of vans, so they gave us a parcel. big deal! "oh, but paul said in the meeting," well i told the old fuck to go take it up with my fucking boss. oh my god, and this is the same old fuck that is always fucking flirting with me, ever so annoyingly innocently, like i need to deal with people that i ain't ever gonna be attracted to, much less completely lack any respect for their god damn hypocritical politics - like i need that shit flirting with me every god damn day - smiling at me, poking at me, and other obnoxious crap. like bitch - don't touch me! so here i am getting paid to do shit. it's not like i'd rather be working, cuz all i do is shift fucking paper around, pointlessly, cuz the rental company always be fucking up. it just seems to be that everyone here, except those at the top, are completely overworked, and in this office, i'm pretty much the fucking bottom of it all, and what have i learned? catering is fucking stupid! ask me if u want the details on christina aguilera's super secret wedding, will sell to the highest bidder - bitches! |
Saturday, November 05, 2005
| i am so much cooler than you because... i am listening 2 the new MADONNA cd that ain't even out yet! yay to the internets! it is definitely the shit, all up tempo, so far, fucking lush as fuck. some of the lyrics are retarded, but in like a totally reasonable self aware way. totally killer shit. tho the new ladytron record is still my favorite! thanks tommi for getting it for me for my b-day, mucho kisses! |
bouncy Tuesday, November 01, 2005
| pretty girls make suck ass so me and tommi finally got to see pretty girls make graves last night on halloween after the previous show was re-scheduled from my b-day. not a pleasant way to spend halloween. like when we saw the gossip, they had erase errata and we are wolves opening, and it was a thoroughly kick ass show! well the pretty bitches had some shit called rezraz or razrez, i dunno, but they were like motley crue doing discopunk going for the killers radio angle. they fucking sucked balls. fuck them. the singer was maybe cute, but not from any talent. next up was some shit called eleventeen or elfenteen or some shit, and they was like emo with beer bellys. seriously dudes, yr pushing yr early to mid-30s and yr fat boring, u really think aping blink 182 and good charlotte is gonna get u on TRL? fucking losers boring whiny girlfriend blah blah bullshit. so after forever waiting, seriously, like, 2 and a half hours, didn't wanna drink more beer, oh great now i gots super fan drunk bitch next to me with her douchbag skinny tall half assed beard boyfriend of the moment. so in love, i'm sure, yeah i'd love to watch them dysfunctionally fuck, for sure. no seriously, i hate drunk mofos that bump into you and have no respect. i'm respectful when drunk, for serious. i also hate motherfucking mosh pits. they fucking piss me off. assholes don't care, oooh la la, i'm boucing around, i am violence - no bitch, you are a skinny loser wankhole cunt. tommi says it's the white boy dance, i should be more forgiving. fuck that, i was about to scrape off motherfucker's face with my spiked braclets if they dared to ever so milded slammed into my motherfucking nipples. bitch would have been bloody dead. anyway, oh yeah the music. lets see, the new romance shit sounded ok, the good health tunes tore the place apart, and the new songs - well either they aren't very good at playing them, or they fucking sucked. some time ago the girls lost a guitar player and gained a keyboard player. she was pretty cute. can't say that she did anything interesting with her two $1500 nord keyboards tho. maybe it's just me, but aren't organ sounds a bit boring? hmm, she sure did play tamborine a lot, and that new song with the melodica, that sure was some tuneless crap. i've never liked melodicas, but i think this was the most painful incident in a live music situation i have thus far endured. seems like they're trying to stretch out on their new record, which is a good thing most of the time, but unfortunately they seemed to have lost the hyper energy of their early material, and the ex-guitar player must have written all of the good songs. lame for them! |
Saturday, October 29, 2005
| no halloween costume :( i haven't come up with a holloween costume idea yet, it sux. i don't wanna be what i was for the past 2 years, which was a zombie dead soldier/war casualty, that was only really funny the first year. so at this moment the plan is to be: A MESS i dunno, maybe it's a dumb idea. but i'm thinking of just throwing on an assload of makeup, jumping the shower, smearing it all over, maybe get some fake blood if i have time too. either that or i guess i'll be a zombie or some shit. i dunno. supposed to go to this costume party being thrown by some burning man kids, hope it's cool. tommi's gonna be at work tho all night at stupid club 8, so like yeah...guess i'm on my own to go get in trouble with that lil' brown monster tony, ha ha. like i kinda was thinking of doing some kind of drag thing, maybe i'll just be a crack whore of some kind, but i don't really wanna wear a bra or a skirt, or any of that shit, so maybe i don't wanna do a drag thing. guess i'll just be some kind of glam rock casualty. maybe i could be a drug overdose? fuckin, all the good costumes are always thought up, like the kids last year that dressed up as abu graib torture victims, or the one time i saw a vampire with a sign looking to buy used tampons, now that's some shit right there! i just can't decide if i wanna be pretty or ugly. |
quixotic Friday, October 28, 2005
| once upon a time once upon a time i went to the power exchange (a sex club) with a couple friends. i think i was a little bit drunk. i know, not a good idea. i much more into wandering around, seeing weird things, never been into the whole anonymous sex thing. it's a neat space, the first few times that is, gets boring, i suppose. anyway, i think this was my second adventure there. anyway, me and my friend tony go up to the gay floor, cuz they wouldn't let tommi up, cuz tommi was in a skirt, and they don't let "trannys" up in the gay section - hella dumb, i know. so i'm up there, and i get separated from tony, and like lo and behold, some dude starts cruising all up on me. and i'm like, ok, he's not old and fat, maybe it'd be cool to just make out with someone. yeah... well it was a little more than making out, but only briefly, cuz i got sketched out and wasn't gonna suck this fool's dick back, i ain't that much of a ho, or least i wasn't that intoxicated! but i remembered his name was todd, and he had just seen peter gabriel play, and his boyfriend was out of town so he came to the power exchange to fuck around. neat! so like many many many moons later, i'm out at aunt charlies lounge for the first time in like a million years, discovering that it was in fact at times a cool spot. actually, that night was very cool, got to know the restroom somewhat intimately with some closet case i later scared off, but that's a whole 'nother story. anyway, this guy comes up to me, and is like - I know you somehow. and i'm, sure, no you don't, but maybe we've met. and he's like, well do you know anyone named todd. and i was like, once i screwed around with some guy named todd at the power exchange. what did he look like? long hair, kinda scruffy, lil' pot belly, kinda medium average dick, i think, that's about it. oh yeah, he had just seen peter gabriel, and i was like that's a cool show to go see. and he said he had a bf he was cheating on or some shit. now this kid, his name is Lyndon (not sure if i'm spelling it proper), he says to me, Todd was my ex-boyfriend of 5 years. i knew it! and i was like whoa, man, that's crazy. and he was like, "see i knew there was some kind of connection between us, and i know he just loves long haired guys, i mean, he dumped me when my hair started falling out." and i was like, that's fucked up! of course obviously the subtext of all this was that he was that Lyndon was totally attracted to me, and like another time i gave the kid a ride home and he was all kissy up on me, but i ain't feelin' it with the guy, not my type. sweet kid tho. so i see him out and about every now and then. why i saw him last night at the cafe, whilst out getting drunk with tommi and tony, who has just returned to CA from living in chicago. well i couldn't stay out late, but before leaving, i tell tony that this guy lyndon is kid from that story, of which i've just told. anyway, at this point i bail, cuz it's 1am, tony and tommi and the rest of our posse are getting pretty shitfaced, and i gots work in the morning, hey that's where i am right now! anyway, late last night, i get awakened to my drunken roommates at around 2:30am. i go back to sleep. at about 4am, tommi comes up to the room, and so does tony, and they be talking about something, tony going off about how needs to get laid, and i'm like, hmmm, did he bring someone home? well at some point later, tommi is snoring in bed and i hear some shuffling about and i look up and there's tony, buck ass naked, digging thru his bag, and i'm like - dude, tony, yr naked, whatcha doing? and he mumbles, condoms...erggh, condoms...argh... i go back to sleep, morning comes, and i go down stairs, sure enough, there's some kid on the fold out couch with him, don't recognize him tho. so i'm here at dumb job ..1, and tony done calls me and says, "sorry, but i took yr friend home, wuzzhisname, from the cafe, i really needed to get laid, and he begged me to whole time to take him home and fuck him, so i did." and i fucking bust up laughing in front of the whole office (taking a personal call on my cell phone!) gets better tho. so they're like going at it for quite awhile on the fold out couch, all the same as my incredibly drunk room mates go to and fro to the kitchen and such, passing the living room where they be fucking. well morning comes and tony awakens to find lyndon spooning him from behind, and my roommate Andre (everyone's favorite 5'5" russian closet case that i don't think is actually that gay even though he attempted to shave my balls once) half asleep on the bed of the fold out couch with his back or torso somehow positioned up right up against tony's santorum encrusted uncut biddness. now that's HOT. andre remembers waking up, neither him nor tony remember any fucking around, andre has no idea how he got there. so yeah. good times. well it's 6pm, time for the story to be over! off to either a dissappointing adventure or dumb job ..2, ain't decided yet! |
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
| it's my birthday! and the show i was going to tonight got rescheduled! |
blah Saturday, October 22, 2005
| mea culpa don't read my blog, it's stupid. i'm at work. i am bored. i backed up a parcel truck into the warehouse roll-up door. oops! sux. whatever. don't read my blog. i'm only doing it to practice writing and occasionally vent. trust me, my drama is not interesting. going to see the gossip and erase errata tonite tho. |
like a shadow
Current mood: 
amused
so cute boy gives me the run around. turns out he had a dinner date for 2nite. thaz cool, whateves. his friend is like, oh there yr boyfriend tommi, well akward, we're pretend broke-up. so like, cute boy is drunk, and the drinks at the club are weak, but i can hang, but there's like a hundred other stimuli and such, and why r u telling me multiple times how much of a crush u have on guy ..2 of party throwing? why do i need to know, oh you can't do anything cuz he has a bf, oh ok. so then it's like a shadow, all night long, i even say, i feel like yr shadow, u seemed to be generally stoked that i am in fact here, but only for fleeting moments do i retain yr attention at all. so why do you need to go see who JR is making out with when u can make out with me right here right now? what? u don't wanna make out with me, is that ok? oh i'm interesting, oh sure y'ill call me sometime, definitely for sure. ok bye.
fuck you tony.
i hate boys that know they are pretty and think they can pretend drunk and treat me with at all less than the monumental respect that i do indeed deserve. especially after i gave aforementioned boy much higher quality head than he did done me on previous occasion. fuck "top" bitches. u found me, now treat me like a princess. as in princess, i mean i am here with u and u are important and i like u.
of course i'd hang out with this punk again, but with much trepidation and salt. we'll see if he ever calls inbetween his million dates. but i'm interesting, and he want's to know interesting people. no sweetie, i'm way more than interesting, i am the bomb ass shit. it takes a lil' bit of time, but i make boys fall in love with me. and it's not like i try, it just happens.
at least i'm still jamaica's hero.
fuckin' a. tommi's such a good sport. and i'm a dirtbag, ha ha!
Friday, October 21, 2005
| "maybe" so if u think i'm hot, and yr on previous occasion been down 2 hook up w/ me in somewhat scandalous of circumstances, and like we gots some serious chemistry going on - if i calls and asks u out for a friday night, why would u be prone to saying MAYBE instead of HELL YES? would being potentially "tired" really a hypothetical of which to indulge my over-consciousness? would not the mere prospect of the excitement of being with me for more than a moment awaken u to cognizance of wanting to say definitely for sure absolutely i can't wait sorry i haven't called i'm an unworthy douchbag plz forgive i need yr love and affection as only u can so deliver? |
contemplative Saturday, October 15, 2005
| don't read my blog, i'm being a drama queen i'm at dumb job #1 right now. it's lame, other than there ain't shit to do but sit here and surf the internet, so i guess that's not too bad. wish i could go out 2nite, but i have been called into dumb job #2, where my boss seems incapable of hiring another soundperson to replace me on the days of which i am no longer will to work. not looking forward to going home. |
Friday, October 14, 2005
| it sux 2 b the asshole it sux to b the asshole. the 1 all of their friends r gonna be, what the fuck were u thinkin. my friend o'dette says that u can go from relationship 2 relationship looking 4 the same thing, that spark, the initial infactuation, but really, iz about staying with that one person and and having that love of companionship and shit. i think she's wrong. i think she's fooling herself. maybe i'm an idiot. i was much more coherent when i was more drunk and in my mind a lil while ago. i'm not happy. it sux. i need passion, i need excitement, and i care very much for this person, but i don't think it can continue in this compacity. iz 2 codependent, my needs are different, i'm bored i'm tired i'm impatient, i suck. my negativity manifests 2 much. i've been looking 4 something different for a long time. i'm probably wrong. i probably make the wrong choice. it sux to be the asshole breaking someone's heart. iz really lame. blogging is lame. u meet someone new, u get yr hopes up, i'm probably pretty foolish. the idea of letting someone go is so ugh. the idea that everything will change sux. the idea of meeting someone new who i connect with, where there is chemistry and magic and rightness, i wish i wish i wish. blogging is lame. sorry. |
Saturday, October 08, 2005
| when u go out to the club and get found so like last night i had to work at the jazz club, even tho my boss was supposed to have hired someone already and shit. but it was cool, the show was really good, this chick from argentina named maria volonte. really incredible singer, doing tangos and shit. i feel bad that i won't be there tonight to take care of her and that she'll be stuck with my aggro boss doing the sound, but he dug his own hole, and i gave him 2 weeks notice of my schedule change. anyway, so after work i go to the stud for shadowplay. it's pretty dead there, but there was like one cute guy there that i see a lot and never talk to - he's always shirtless and has cool hair and lots of black eyeliner. looks like a skinny puppy superfan or something. but then tim starts playing that annoying new franz ferdinand song and i'm like, my drink is gone, i gotta bail. so i go over to club 8 where tihani is working the door, thinking, maybe something might happen. get in for free, figure i outta make the best of the situation and get a beer while i wait for tommi to get off work (cuz i'm the ride!) so i got my shitty corona and i go to the dancefloor which is hella packed. they're playing lots of faceless house-dance music, it's cool, lots of pretty boys and shit, figure i might as well just find a spot to dance. and like this NEVER happens to me. well, ok, maybe once every six months, but guys RARELY approach me. and i am a shy lil' bitch myself, so... anyway, i'm on the dance floor for not even 2 mins and this cute boy suddenly appears in front of me and i'm like, ok yr cute, ok sure lets dance, alright. and we start dancing all more and more up close and stuff, and then gradually we start making out, and i'm like i don't give a fuck, cuz this kid is cute, and a good kisser, and brave - which is cool. and then this guy pokes is head in and is like, "oh, i'm so glad you guys found each other," and i'm like, is that yr friend? and he's like, no, is that yr friend? and i'm like, no. and cute boy is like, yr the only guy in here that looks like you, or something, and i'm like, i know...it ain't easy. anyway, we exchange numbers, all that shit, make out some more, and then it's like, he's gotta go find he's friends. (of course, being the slut that i am, i would of most definitely gone home with him right at that moment, but that wasn't realistic - nor gonna happen). actually, it was just really cool, to walk into a room and get those "there's a weirdo - u don't look like us" vibes from everyone and then be found instantly by the one person (that's brave enough to express it, at least) who's like - hey, yr hot i wanna touch u - and isn't a million years old and creepy. so yay me, i made out with a sexy boy! |
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
| FUCK MY NEIGHBOR! i don't mean go fuck him literally that is. ya see, check this out. last night tommi borrowed my car to go to kung-fu while i was at work at the jazz club. after kung-fu and before picking me up, tommi came home to shower and what not. apparently while parking my car in front of my house and driveway, tommi parked ever so slightly, we're talking bumper and inches here, into the curved aspect of the driveway of our neighbor. this motherfucker has nothing better to do than call the cops and have them cite my vehicle with a fucking $75 ticket for blocking his god damn driveway. fuck that piece of shit bitch, right? so i wrote him a letter and stuck it on his fucking door, even manage not curse, tho what i wanted was to ring his doorbell and shit at 1am and scream my head off. here's what i wrote: |
Monday, October 03, 2005
| dolly parton! saw dolly parton today for free @ golden gate park. was hella cool! she's so talented and such a fun performer. maybe now i'll actually listen to that copy of heartbreaker i gots on vinyl, ha ha! |
cheerful Friday, September 30, 2005
| sbc is sucky been on the fone w/ sbc all afternoon today and yest'day, so annoying, like my phone line is so fucked and i don't wanna pay for them to fix shit that they should have working. dume motherfuckers. and why is it everytime i'm on the fone w/ people they have to ask if i'm related to allen iverson??? yeah, he's my cousin, big deal! |
annoyed Wednesday, September 21, 2005
| imaginary people suck u know what i hate? getting hit on by fake people. i mean, really fake people. like computer robots or some shit all under the guise to get u to pay for some porn. u know? like u be on gay.com or someone email's u thru gay.com and all of a sudden yr like, hey i'm getting hit on, oh my ego yea! and then it turns out that they're some bullshit fake thing. oh how will i ever feel pretty with my sense of self being consistently destroyed? why is this hot boy talking to me? oh yeah, hot boys don't talk to me. is it cuz i'm ugly or weird? discuss. |
Saturday, September 03, 2005
| ugh i just gave $20 to the red cross. yea me. |
pissed off Monday, August 15, 2005
| fuck bulletin whores + ADULT. is cool! fuck bulletin whores, fucking annoying. like i dunno know u, but i'm happy 2 add u as a friend, but if u like a high school bulletin whore, like add my friend, add this person, they're sooo cool, like whatever, not into that. |
content Wednesday, August 10, 2005
| the juan maclean, rockin' tha house! i been waiting 4 this record 4 like almost 8 months ever first i heard one of this dude's tracks on the first dfa comp. this record is some hot shit, not super hot all around, but the kid bring the electro funk, i b happy. |
Sunday, August 07, 2005
| MIDNIGHT MAGIC or i am a stupid little lamb. so i had a shitty night at work last night cuz i had to clean up after this dirty motherfucking big band and had a hang over all day and night. anyway, leaving work at like 1:30am, i'm about a block away from my car and this sketchy looking dude holla's at me, "hey, u look like my old drummer. are u a musician?" i'm like, whaa? so i stop momentarily, and he's like, "i've been out here for 3 hours and yr the first person to stop and acknowledge me." i'm oh, yeah, ok, that's fucked up, yeah people are fucked. so he's like, do you read the chronicle, and i'm like sometimes, "well what's gonna happen next is gonna blow yr mind. they did an article about me, u ever heard of Midnight Magic?" i'm like no. basically, he tells me he's done this 45 times, and i'm gonna be 46, and that if i can help him out, and that he's not a street person (though he is missing hella teeth and looks it) and not looking for a handout, he'll repay me beyond what i can imagine. so at this point i should already walked the fuck away, as this guy obviously be praying on kindness, greed, and vanity. but nope, i stayed and listened to his spiel. his name is Allen Freed Jr, his dad coined the term rock n roll, he wrote some famous Frank Sinatra song, and once opened for Frank Jr. I was like cool, told him i work at the stupid jazz club. basically, he come down from Napa every thur-saturday and gives out food to all the street people in SF, but somehow he left his briefcase with all his money back at the house and needs money for gas and toll to get back over the bridge. so he says he needs $21. this all should have been a red flag, as he said it all so fast and it didn't make any sense, but all i'm thinking about is the money, and he says he'll repay the next day, and on Monday, i won't be able to even imagine what will happen. so i'm like, fine, ok i'll do this, whatever, maybe this is legit. so i'm like, ok dude, u wait here, i'm gonna go to the atm right around the corner (cuz i didn't want this sketchy dude, no matter how fleetingly gaurdian angel seeming, walking up to an atm with me). and oh i should have just kept walking the fuck away, or called my friends who would have said stop, are u out of yr mind?!? but no, i pull out $40, come back, he's followed me a bit, he's smoking a cigarette, so i'm like, he's got cigarettes (and that 2nd hand thrift suit), perhaps this is legit. so i walk back over to where he is, and i'm pulling out the money, and then i look at his hands, and his fingernails, all worn away, cleary a street people pedicure. and i'm hesistating now, and i'm like, so yr gonna meet me tomorrow at the starbucks in front china town? and he's like, "yes, yes, wherever u want, whatever time works for u." and as i'm hesitating, i see the hunger in his eyes for the money, and he's like "just gimme the money, gimme the money." so i give it to him, and say, ok, good luck, see u tomorrow. i walk towards my car, call my friend, i'm kinda laughing, i tell him, i just gave $40 to some homeless dude, and he's like WTF?!? and i'm like oh whatever, naaa, this is legit, i'm gonna get some money, or least paid back, and if not it was just $40. right... well i'm pretty good with the google, so here's what i found: |
Saturday, August 06, 2005
| fuckin' hangover i drink too much at club last night, danced way stupid, wandered the city hella drunk @ 3am, found my friends, kicked shit over, got a "straight guy" to attempt to shave my balls, sent out a drunken text message @ 5:30am to someone i'm not supposed to talk to anymore, passed out and woke up to a headache. |
uncomfortable ok, neat. that wasn't too tough...
posted by eriq at 3:53 PM
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