on salvia

so like on friday we all got it in our heads to do salvia, cuz, like we ain't done that before. it was all my fault cuz i was like hey lets go get some nitrous poppers, always a good time and a long standing joke suggestion. except it was just before 10pm, and likely the store was still open, and we were like, ok, lets do it. and then tommi is like, hey they sell salvia there, lets go try that too. tommi is the one who researched and learned about salvia all via tribe.net. anyway, us enterprising folk, we head out to the store, 18th and hartford, to get us some legal drugs.

it was a cracked head demand for doom, most definitely for sure. we'll take a hit of nitrous first and then a bong rip of pot with salvia on top, cuz you gotta burn it hot and smoke it quick, that much bildo knew. the first hit was all around like, yeah, holy shit, i'm fucked up, but oh ok, coming back to normal. everything was transitory for a bit, all shifty like, like i was out of phaze, everything shaky right, bildo been so damn annoying the whole damn time. sorry dude, but i was like, nick, dude, just chill, shut up, don't be the annoying girl. he was totally the annoying girl. more fucked up on the idea of being fucked up on drugs than actually fucked up on them drugs. tho he was pretty fucked up. that 2nd hit had him on the fucking floor crawling in slow-mo or some shit. he was babblingly, it was coherent, but i couldn't be bothered to pay attention. it was all boring whatever he was saying. so i took my nitrous hit, i take my 2nd bong rip of the salvia, it's a bit fucking a harsh, i had to clear it in two inhales. i'm laughing, i'm like whoa, i think at this point i spontaneously hug andre and declare that he is my friend. at this point i must have zoned out or something as andre and tommi do their rounds. i come to the realization, of at least, i come to lucid profoundity, suddenly, i'm as if above my head, i've forgotten myself somewhat, or at least what i can remember and from my surroundings, i am completely horrified. i am above my head, somewhat, i think, or i can see or sense each of our hideous spirits floating in auora above our heads. the malevolent history of this bizzare passageway that makes up our living room. all diagonally, claustrophobic, suddenly, i'm like, what the fuck is this? this is my life? i see myself, and i'm trying to remember what it's like to be normal, cuz i'm panicking at the retardation of my life, how stupid my jobs are, who this is who it is to be me. and i'm trying to not panic, remember, that i'm just fucked up, but i'm tripping balls. all of like, i can see is some stupid game of which our spirits inhabit bodies or some shit, and i am failing miserably. i feel no connection to those i am with, at all, none whatsoever. instinctually, perhaps, i realize now that i must escape, at the very least this room. i want to run out to the street, but that's not safe enough. i turn my head to the right briskly, looking toward the stared up to my bedroom, looking for an escape route. sharp pain cuts through my brain, i turned to fast, some important part of me ripped in the process. i feel cerebral pain for sometime after. by this point i have risen to my feet, somehow the other must have realized something was amiss, inbetween tommi's proclaimations of being the carribean ocean. i run, well, more like walk quickly, out to the back patio. andre comes and meets me, and as he smokes a cigarette talks me down. it is better outside, i'm not cold, though it is cold, he tells me that yes, we are tripping balls, as if we just took five hits of acid, it's gonna mellow out, we talk about how i haven't really tripped that much before, and not enjoyed mushrooms particularily. bless him, a little angel. he seemed the least phased out of the four of us, but i reckon it was more in line with his habits of not expressing himself. either that or was just not paying attention. i do some more nitrous hits, but it just isn't as fun, kinda hurts my brain a lil' bit. andre crashes first, he has to work early as fuck, i give up 2nd, cuz i have to work a bit later at 10am. i wait for tommi to come up, but eventually pass out. i wake up at 3am and starting freaking out inside my head, so i go downstairs to find tommi passed out on the couch. after much labor, i am able to successfully rouse him up to the bed, where with him present, i feel safe enough to resume sleep.

i almost get into two car crashes within two blocks of my work that morning. so fucking out of it the whole day at work. whatever. so fucking out of it all day. cool kid at my work smokes me out and we drink a couple beers inbetween halfassed cleaning of some fucked up old chairs. it's chill. cool kid is more and more cute, tho i think he laughs at me behind my back. he's hard to read, he's a serious stoner. later that night tommi and i end up making an appearance at a party that has already ended but are offered the last two magic cupcakes. later that night i awake at 3am (again!) and start tripping balls in my fucking head again, all aaaccckk! like and shit. i also have the worst cotten-mouth ever, as did tommi, after what seems like an hour or so i fall back asleep after putting some mellower stereolab tunes.

the visual impression in my mind of spirit auros, hideous as they were, floating above our heads in that which is our living room, that i remember most vividly. not that i forgot anything. i think.