horny, depressed, and lonely

but mostly hungover. that mainly sums up my weekend, haha. actually not really too much of any of those things, but a general malaise, i guess. drunken attempts to manufacture attention, sabotaged by eyeliner. this drunk fool last night at the cafe, he says to his friend right in front of me, is that a girl? i'm wearing a tight gray wife-beater, i say straight up back to him, do you see any tits on me? he apologizes in his drunken way, i say whatever, just giving him a hard time for thinking out loud instead of even thinking at all. efforts to get into trouble were completely unfruitful, time spent trolling around on internet chat rooms, ever as retarded as they have always been. whatever. attention, validation, don't you think i'm ever so pretty? i'm listening to supergrass right now, so everything will be alright, very much so. i just bought their greatest hits cd for like $6 or something, i like them a lot, i just always forget to listen to them. i definitely gonna put this in my car though, it'll make driving to work perhaps less painful. my day job fills me with some additional dread now that i have learned that i will soon be moving my work station out of the conference room into a cubicle of which i will share with one of my least favorite co-workers. it's not that i don't like her, though in all honesty, i used to not, mainly because of the way she sorta carries herself, y'know snotty white girl entitlement, but i've grown to like certain aspects about her, i mean, she's brought her dog to the office a couple times, and that's one super cool dog, and her little offspring daughter is hella cute, so i can't knock her that, let's just say that she isn't my first choice as to who i would share a cubicle with. this is like my favorite supergrass song playing now, late in the day, such a wonderful melody, i remember the video, they're all bouncing around on pogo-sticks in time with the bounce of the song, great stuff. so wystful nostalgic psychedlic bridge, another time, another place, late afternoon sunset, the kinds when you're away from home, somewhere unfamiliar, places i rarely see. i need to travel away from here, get my passport together, save up some money or something, go to another country, that's what tommi wants. i'm getting bored with the politics, all my daily blogs i read, blah blah blah, same shit everyday. daily kos has really lost a bit of levity, the front pagers there are pretty listless, even darksyde, who used to publish great science blogs is all boring as hell now. there's an air of unfocused pretentiousness, i mean kos has always caried himself in a kind of arrogant snottiness that probably doesn't come across as much in person but is like totally amplified by the keyboard, though he's no bitter railing queen like john avarosis at americablog, who though often always right and fighting the good fight for queer community and rights and stuff, well he seriously needs to get laid. take the edge off, bucko. digby's still the best, and atrios is filter or choice. rawstory also. boring stuff though, motherfucker's spying and compiling info for databases that they be too incompentent to manage or make proper use of except of specific political enemies. i tried to work on music today, mix some old shit better, add some synth and shit to some shit, failed at that, i need beats. i practiced drums again today, been practicing on my days off, going through this book of exercises on stick control. my left hand is still hella weaker than my right, but i've gotten a lot better just by doing these exercises, it's really phenomenal the differance a bit of practice makes, i'm almost starting to get the theory that perhaps i am a natural drummer, at least more so than other instruments, although saxophone was always easy as fuck. wish i could get more piano coordination back, maybe i should be doing piano exercises, haha, oh the horror, oh the misspent youth of ten years of lessons. and i still suck at guitar. i've got this john petrucci video, the wank fag from dream theater, on building up guitar technique, and i tried it once, but it just moved so fast, i gave up after the first exercise, i should pull it out again and try again. i just hate practicing guitar, it's so boring and fingers are so uncoordinated when not playing chords, it's lame. but practicing the drums was kinda fun, cuz i actually felt like i was making some progress. like after doing some exercises, i'd take a break and just fuck around on the kit and i totally had more strenght, coordination, and confidence. so that's pretty cool.